Actually, things are better here too. Dh has had major health issues hanging over him and though far from through them, he did get better news than expected at the cardiologist yesterday. Tomorrow go back for a stress test which will determine whether or not they will clear him for back surgery. His back is so bad, he basically is not able to do anything. Tries to walk just a little with a walker, if he leans forward to take some pressure off his back, he can get around some but to try to just walk wipes him out. He is not one to talk about things but could tell he was concerned about this, thinking he was probably facing heart surgery before anything could be considered for the back. He had been making comments about not being around long and talking wills. I am very grateful that we both retired with retirement funds that would allow us to make it even if we lost the other one, never high salaries, not huge pensions but having one at all anymore is getting rare.
My husband and I had a heart to heart about a major marital issue yesterday. Things could have gone one way or the other. It was a long overdue conversation; fortunately, it went well, but it was a difficult conversation that’s been more troublesome to one of us than to the other. We are also working much better together on the budget since we’ve been using the very basic pen and paper one I’d mentioned recently that we’re now using. The one basic budget is for his businesses (his own bootfitting business and then for his independent contractor’s job) and the other is for our home budget (financed by my income and his income working at the ski shop). We’ve been robbing Peter (home) to pay Paul (business). Jim didn’t realize (or want to acknowledge) what a drag the business end can be at times, and a couple of things desperately needed to be addressed. Amazingly, since things are now in black and white he can’t ignore what it costs to run our home, take care of our family and our future needs, pay for his supplies, and look at what his actual travel expenses are. We realized this past week it looks as if the business is up a couple of thousand dollars for the month from where it had been last month. It should be even better next month. It was simply a matter of dh knowing where we actually stood financially in a way that he understood. He realized this month he was limited in going on the road (for his independent contractors job) or in buying extra supplies (for his own business) because the funds weren’t there to cover everything and also have something to contribute to our family. Before, I’d take money from the home to float the business but this month I told him it wasn’t happening unless there was actual money in his business account to cover his travels. He agreed. He now sees the numbers each Friday, and he “gets” it. He’s now working not only harder, but smarter, and even he admits to having an ephinany of sorts. He’s found ways to make more money over the past couple of weeks. It’s rather exciting, to be honest. This isn’t what our major marital problem has been, but it’s been one of those things that hasn’t helped matters. All in all, it seems as if we’re on the right track to make our lives better and our marriage stronger than ever. I hope all is the same for you, Kathryn. I think the fact that you and Steve are now commingling your funds is a huge step in your marriage. When you wrote that the two of you had come to this decision I was very happy to read this. I realize what a huge step this is in your marriage. I think very highly of you, and pray for only the best for you, your marriage and your future.